H.O.P.P.I.N.S.K.I.P

It’s palpable these feelings.
Can’t acknowledge it, yet to be able to deny it.
I found joy in little things in my vernacular activities.
Let it be consuming morsels of food, or going about buzzing about my own errands.
On the contrary, I found little happiness in big things.
Let it be being in a new ‘relationship’ or ending an old ‘relationship’.
Perhaps there’s a little secret within myself I will not like to deal myself.
That little evil thing that is sabotaging all the presumably good things going on in my life.
That will put my feet back to the ground, and not fly away with all the nice things men whisper to me.
Men..and their words.
Men..and their sweetness.
Men..and their selves.
Men..as what they are.
Women and their feelings things.
Women and their insecurities.
Women and their feelings things (I can’t emphasize this more).
Is there a point where these two beautiful souls will meet.
And blend. And melt. And be one. And be joyous and be better than what they are individually.
Together, can they ever be beautiful.
I don’t know.
I know what I want in life. Others may confuse me as confused.
I do know. I do acknowledge, but I have yet found one that can give me what I want.
I do want to love. So do very much.
But where? How? When? Whom?
I can’t love selfishness.
I can’t love games.
I can’t love manipulations.
I can’t love being common.
I am special.
You are special.
We are all want to be special.
Men and their words
Men and their meanness
Men and their lies
Men and their other girls
Men and their selves
Women and their little sweetness
Women and their beautiful smiles
Women and their sensitive souls
Is there a point really…where these emotions could meet
And bring the best in each and everyone of us?
Or should I just shoot myself right now and not waste time hoping for the impossible?